26 August 2004

Stroller Ejector Seats Mandatory

The news that truly shocks
Is the empty, empty page
While the final rattle rocks
Its empty, empty cage
And I can't handle this

Whoa. Whooooooooooa. Hold on. I think... I think that... yup, those two things actually have some relation. Whoa, I'm blowin my freakin mind here. WHOA. I mean, like, whoa, dude. Okay, enough of the throw-back phrases already, let's get to some bitching and stitching, yeehaw. Yes I realize I've long been absent from the airways. I can only assume you've been rocking yourselves to sleep at night in a tight balled fetal position muttering something to the effect of "daddy will come to get me, daddy will come to get me," etc, etc just don't bunch your panties too high up your ass. You'll give yerself a hemorrhoid or something or rather, worse yet a polyp or polynytyl cyst. But I shan't apologize, it was a much needed vacation from everyone and their mother. Which brings me to point number one. I give it such designation, not because it's the most important or anything, and not really cos I came across it first in this rant, nor is it even indicative of more points to come. For all I know I could be tapped out in two more sentences. I am a little rusty you know. But at any rate I'm rocking out the laptop today, migrating through the last little bit of he unexplored abyss of the internet when I begin to hit this grossly over-protective string of obtusely self-ordained know-it-all political personages that sent me into a tirade in my small enclosure I've been recently relocated to. To which I responded by taking a shower and a 3 hour nap. What can I say, I have priorities and getting excited about pointless social commentary that only theorizes of solving problems from within an already crumbling and tainted system is just that, pointless. So I shrug. Mnyeh. Not my fight, not my cause, not my care. Just don't come near me with yor morals and we'll all be hunky-dory. Oh where did I lose the initial effort of this post. Perhaps it was between the bathroom and the hallway, or down the drain with the toothpaste. Seriously, though, why is it that people must do things en masse, ie. with the most people they can possibly get to attend a single event as simple as dinner at a restaurant. Especially, and this is key to the whole idea of dinner (seriously, it is, I will expound), when some of the people rate nowhere on your list of close friends or are partway on your list of total creepydos. Meals are meant to share community, to build it. So why try to make an event of massive amounts of people many of whom you really don't like. Oh, that's right, I'm forgetting that you're only cool if everyone and their mom tries to attend.
It could just be me though, I have long been the type to stand it alone. While people enjoy having their army of syncophants to use as shields and bolsters, I've managed for the most part to remain raw and esposed, much like half my nerves considering the number of peeves I have. In a capitalist society it seems so odd that people are constantly reaching out for community, large community, while verbally assaulting the entire idea of socialism as impossible. Am I missing something? Perhaps, considering I often think of how wonderful socialism is as well as communism in theory, though admit hindered due to human nature of greed, all the while I avert myself from community, from people in general always attempting to be a ghost of sorts, just so I can serve my own ideas/thoughts/feelings/whims, overall control over life. Quick, someeone solve that conundrum, realign the zodiac and create a utopian society. Quick like a rabbit! Hmm. I've ranted much too much without humour or any sort of laughable affect. Oi where did I go awry. Sure there was that time in the womb when I took a boot to the noggin, but it was a good day otherwise. I mean I did discover my big toe that day.
I wasn't going to post anything yet, this is a bit off the cuff and dribbling down my chin. I had every bit of intent of unveiling yet another stunning version of this massive steaming load of toilet clamour with a new brilliant sour bit of doo-doo once I had reached home. Yes, I am already referring to it as home. As far as I'm concerned I will move nowhere else afterword for one reason or the other. Most likely the latter because the former is far too obvious and the latter has that bi of menagerie and small wadded bits of gum. I mean the former could be jsut as glamourous, but since when do hotdogs ever beat out badgers in a baseball game. And I'm not talking one of those summer exhibition jaunts. I'm talkin' full-out 4 wicket knuckle rubbing mayhem, baby. But of course as you can see, this whole plan went down the drain. As I said, too many stupid people to piss me off. I'm not saying that people should keep their opinons to themselves, just to clarify. I'm saying just don't do cheap crack and watchout for the carnies this year. The inbreeding has given way to third AND fourth nipples galore. Nipply nipplefests, that's what I'm talkin' bout, Jebus, yeah Jebus, yeah.

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