1 August 2004

What You Crave

His goal in life was to be an echo
The type of sound that floats around
And then back down like a feather
But in the deep chrome canyons of the loudest manhattans
No one could hear him

Now you might be wondering if changing the address while keeping the same ugly ass aluminum siding is really wortwhile. Well just so you know, it is, every penny of it. And just like that in a flash the new nook was created and a clue left so that you the reader might find this little corner of disorganized thought and spiffy chaos. I have a bit of what is called paranoia, which leads to a problem when people link their site to mine making it all too easy for people they and I know to get here, which just isn't good. Too many people knowing what goes on in my life does not being me comfort, I'd rather hold that in check if I ever am to be approached for a game of "cards" leaving the deck stacked in this manner seeing as I have a bit of knowledge of everyone. So you might have found your way back to this place, and I must admit it shouldn't have been very hard seeing as I didn't try very hard to hide it. You could have even googled or yahooed it to find the new address assuming the bots finally cataloged the change. The point is I always quite fancied being a ghost, and so as I do every so often (just about every four years or so) I disappear and only resurface to surprise and scare people then disappearing only to be unremembered again. And so on, and so forth. It may seem old and immature but I started doing ti a long time ago and feel it is only right to finish what I started as long as there's a place to move to and a home to find. We have our traditions as silly as they may seem.
White Castle, that's what I crave, well I did crave awhile ago, but then again you'll have that when watching Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. While not entirely identical in nature but similar enough to be true to the coe beliefs, the movie mirrored many a late night trip in the ghettos of the land of clevs made by me and a few of my now termed "acquaintances" in search of drunk food and burgers (fur burgers that is) from Taco Hell to White Castle with the orders of 40 or more sliders per person to Wendy's to Steak 'n Shake with the stoner waiter ready to sell the "Tak-hom-a-sak" sign and the plates and forks (but not the knives) to Denny's with groups of up to but not exceeding 50 to Chuck's Diner and of course to the great Best Steak and Gyro ("goddamn Arabs always stickin their dicks in the mayonnaise" (no offense, honest to god quote from some guy in line) and "ain't no cheeeeeeese on my goddamn samich" (same guy) and "my name ain't mother fucker, my name's Ray" (big African-American cook dealing with same guy in line)). I mean, at 3 in the friggin morning when you're blitzed off your rocker, it's hard to really make it succinctly to any destination, especially when you're amidst a great deabte over the better drunk food. Oh the memories, like little Kodak developed pictures ensured of having the best quality and color balance due to their stringent processing techiques, all shuffled away in little laquered boxes in my mind. Alas, I only have fice more weeks left in this rat hole off a city and then it's off to the hometown to pack and ship and prep for the flight to Glasgow which is in six weeks. No, what I crave now is a whiskey to ease my mind of my best friend who seemingly cares little for me or my departure seeing as I've yet to hear from them in two months. But I will leave just the same. Friendships that are only kept alive by one side are never worth the effort, it's a two way street as they say, I've just been walking all of mine alone. But that's for another boy's blog, this man has other things to be busied with, more important things to worry about than those people that only worry about themselves. Let that be a lesson, some of us are only steadfast, so long as we have something to be steadfast for. All the rest is sand.

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