28 July 2004

Woo I Have Makeup On

Blue-eyed boy meets a brown-eyed girl
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing

Udderly amazing how the title and lyrics seem to relate on no level whatsoever, this is the silliness. It's sinister really, this silliness, so sinister in fact that it would give you mismatched sock pairs if it knew that you didn't have foot fungus. Coz it's a fungi... get it fungi=fun guy, ok, nevermind, it might have been just the slightest bit over your head, although I hear your mom gives- nevermind. That was a bit uncalled for I suppose, you'll be crying yourself to sleep tonight on your huuuuuuuuuuuuuge pilla.
At any rate, you should check the link for a good silly time. It has always been my policy to find goths funny. Now to most goths I've encountered this is counterintuitive, ie. it makes no sense. I guess I'm supposed to be afraid of the face makeup because Bredan Lee was some kind of bad-ass in a movie called The Crow and had makeup on. I know nothing about that. I've never even heard of these movie things. And as far as the Lee family is concerned, Brandon, or Brendon, or whatever, couldn't have been a bad-ass because he he didn't spend a good year in a body brace like his father did. Now Bruce Lee, he was a bad-ass. Hands down, he was one of those guys that you meet but never in a martial arts match. Whoa tangent. Back to silly goths. I have a few issues with this lil kid, mainly he's a lil kid, which I think is just another reason it's becoming more hysterical to me. Now if the guy were, say, 30-40 years old, I might be a lil freaked, especially if he was practiced in so-called "vampirism". I'm sorry, but a 13 year-old spouting off on how he's a warlock vampire is just reminiscent of 4 grade when everyone wanted to be a hobbit or a wizard or a dwarf or elf. Just you watch, he'll be playing D&D with the big boys once he hits high school. Wooooooooooooo scary. Oh and his choice of msic and film, let me just say, if you're trying to convince me of your ad-ass nature and power or whatever, why don't you just go ahead and conjure up a level 85 wivern or whatever they're called, because you obviously have a lot of these stereotypes you choose to throw around a bit skewed. This lil kid ain't goth, he's if anything a poser, and he doesn't even know what a poser is or that the tem went out a few years ago along with punk, except in Britain where punk is still an awesome movement. I somehow doubt that watching The Crow and listening to Marilyn Manson makes you goth. But I don't want to insult, merely poke fun. Silly goths, always taking themselves sooo seriously. It's a good waste of time, though, to skim these things, it's almost better than watching South Park or Family Guy.
In other events, I actually survived the supposed physical I had to undergo for work, although I still cannot work until they do my background check because everyone knows I robbed like 10 banks in 3 months last year (that's right FBI, it was me, muahahaha). No, seriously, I'm a bad-ass, such in fact, I need to go buy makeup tomorrow. And a honking big red nose. May I borrow your bosoms madam, thank you, *honka-honka* (wtf?). It was a bit of an annoyance seeing as the only thing they did was of course the dreaded drug-urine test. This of course is where you submit your heroin or crack or cocaine or dope or pcp or special k or lsd or whatever you may be currently produsing or using and they check it for urine (ummmmm). At any rate, I passed, urine free as always because I only buy the best of the best, because I respect my body. I was astonished to find out I had diabetes. I mean, is that what all those injections were for, I never knew! This really changes everything you realize, I'll have to find more intelligent doctors in the future. So after all this, I now have to wait and see when I can actually begin laboring once more and get paid for the whole spiel. I think I'll call and harass them everyday this week. It seemed to work for U of Glasgow. Never underestimate the squeaky wheel's ability to get the grease. And just so you know, I intend to take this knowledge on the road to every bar and place of loose women until I receive the proper "greasing". I am a man on a mission, an uncouth one at that (uncouth mission that is, I am a couth man, no seriously I am, nuh uh, don't be mean now, sheesh).

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