8 July 2004

Do the Pod People Ever Use Gravy?

I am selfish, I am wrong
I am right, I swear I'm right
I knew it all along

I am hereby exercising my right to bitch. I feel it is my turn seeing as I've been nice and quiet and all smiley and whatnot, but dammit if I don't have plenty to complain about on a regular basis. So spurred by the House of Lords' declaration of spanking as legal, I too will take the superfluous and shove it in your face because I wanna. What're you gonna do about it? Go tell your mom I'll see her tomorrow night, that'd be constructive.
Wait, dammit, I lost all my rage. Damn you all and your ability to unfocus me.
It has come to my attention that I am becoming more of a "bad" replicant, if you will. I may have my faults, all bazillion and a half of them, but they keep me warm at night and serve other purposes like survival in this over stigmatized, anti-cultural, conformist society. Thus the reason for multiple personalities being witnessed by different acquaintances. But the problem seems to be that I am not a double, nor a doppelganger, I am the original; however, it seems that more and more friends (read: people on permanent time out) are taking new acquaintances and trying to impart likes and dislikes that are oddly similar to mine. Now this can seem all too paranoid, but the overlap is very eerie, not to mention it renders me obsolete. I suppose I have it coming in many ways, I'm not easy to get along with and can be seemingly moody, I have scored myself with numerous "sins", and I do often prefer to just be alone for the sake of my own sanity. But this isn't about me, it's about people being bastages and rendering me useless and bored. In conjunction with this, I'm gonna go ahead and say that you, yes, you (you know who you are), are an ant compared to me and so you can rage and piss and moan and take your little war as far as you want because the only thing it does is annoy me in the slightest. I just don't care, but I do want you to stop being a friggin sissy and just sit the fuck down and decide what you really want and stop bitching about getting there and just go, do it. Seriously people, this learned helplessness shit has to stop somewhere. I'm sitting here in limbo until I get a big fat envelope from Glasgow. In the meantime I'm looking for a job and keeping myself busy, but I'm not bitching about being stuck without employment, nor do I when the subject is broached, I leave it at, "life sucks, buy a helmet".
And for the majority of you who have made it onto my permanent timeout list, well, this is the last bit I have to say to the many of you unless I'm otherwise prompted (I can safely say that the first discoverers of this blog are not included on this list; furthermore, I apologize for the excessive bitching and the lack of humour, I know how much yall hate it, but things must be done at times, oh and I still need those dvds back whenever you are done with 'em). It was no one or two instances that put you onto this black list, just suffice it to say that you all need to learn how to follow through with your promises, whether understood or formal or verbal or whatever. Enough of this say one thing and do another, enough with the twisting of words and desire for melodrama (not that this isn't classifiable as such), but seriously. Finally, for all those who've said "you can't understand" to me in regards to any sort of relationship issue/pain/whatever simply because my tally of serious relationships is kinda lame, you forget that to be human is to be empathetic and imaginative, to be able to divine the nature of anything with a little thought and creativity and care about those around you. If that makes no sense I'll dumb it down: the heart can understand anything if you allow it to, it can accept any burden and any person as well as their faults. So, the next time you think I'm too thick to know what it feels like to be human, yall can just fuck off. I am vindicated.
For godsakes, I wish you'd all just stop trying to be something because people think that's who you are, or you want people to think that's who you are. Now you're saying "what about you changing your hair and growing a goatee, blah blah blah, yakity schmakity". To that I reply that I do things for fun, never because it's expected or because I think I'll be cooler (there's no real hope for that to ever occur). This brings me to another PSA point: stop getting so defensive the moment you have to own up to something, just admit it and everyone else just let it go, leave them alone. Sheesh.
Oi, I'm all bitched out almost, I swear. And then, I suppose I can say that maybe I'm not the most mature/smart person all the time, but I can say that I have at least remained loyal to both those who asked and those who haven't. Maybe it's time some of you should do the same instead of merely reaping it for entertainment. Value it for companionship, for support, for whatever love may be there, but never forget that it's a two way street, others expect that you will be there as they were for you.

We now rejoin our regularly scheduled program.

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