21 June 2004

There's Nothing to Fear But Pudding

And Gertrude Stein said that's enough
(I know that that's not enough now)
Gertrude Stein said that's enough
(I know that that's not enough now)

I don't like to brag, okay that's not true, I love to brag, I just don't have much to brag about per se, or at least nothing that is appropriate to brag about in public (wink wink nudge nudge). I must say, however, that I am an obscure-movie-finding genius!!! Well, really I'm just damn lucky I suppose because I finally found Im Juli on DVD here in the Americas. Stupid Europe always tryin' to keep the pseudo-brown man down, bastages! At any rate, it soon will be in my possession and then you'll all pay!!!
And now for something completely undiabolical. I've decided that being productive is stupid, so from now on I vow to produce nothing, including children by asexual means. This will include all ideas and/or thoughts and any other intellectual activity resulting in some sort of "product". I am hoping to accomplish nothing and thusly accomplish everything, though, I realize that this may seem counterintuitive to lesser minded peoples, but alas, I cannot help all you see my gloriously sized things, like my genius, so just imagine it. No, seriously, take a few minutes and just imagine the gloriously sized things I possess. NO, seriously, take a bit longer, it's impossible to comprehend the tremendousness in such a small amount of time. SERIOUSLY, would you stop short changing me. God hates you, I just know it. In addition to accomplishing everything, I hope to prevent myself from losing pleasure in pornography as a result of watching it in HDTV. Hopefully I will reach such levels of unproductivity that I will not notice the massive imperfections in giant penii and vaginae. Thus I will save the world, or something like that, because I love everyone (no I do, fuck you heathen, I'm grandiose and have many large things in my possession with which to flog you into submission).

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